How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, feminists can’t change a thing.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, feminists can’t change a thing.
I read Masters of Doom and Smile, You’re Traveling. Heaven’s Gate is a horribly bloated film that should have put an end to expensive movies that are guaranteed to fail. Hi, Stealth and The Island, how you doin’? I miss you; more than Michael Bay missed the mark when he made Pearl Harbor.
I’ve been catching up on Firefly the past few days and it’s a surprising decent television show. I was on television boycott when it first aired so I missed out but thanks to the wonder of the Internet, I’m watching each episode back-to-back commercial-free. Cheers to that, aye.
… a drunken fat guy taking a shit on some little retarded kid is hilarious.
The procedure entry point GETIUMS could not be located in the dynamic link library MSDART.DLL.
Microsoft enters a special place in my heart when a dialog window displaying this error shows up during a repair installation of XP. Now obviously it’s trying to deregister Windows Media Player and reregister the outdated piece of shite that’s likely on the installation CD, but that multi-billion corporation can’t find the time to fix this error that occurs when trying to repair a post-Service Pack 1 installation. The motherfucking solution is here but I’m not a happy panda!
Yeah, computer hard drive that’s been clicking and seemingly powering down over the past month finally took a shit when I tried to shut down last night. XP’s shut down screen sat at the “Shuting Down…” screen for a couple minutes so I said, “FUCK THIS SHIT!” and powered it down. When I tried starting it today it would showing a bluescreen for a millisecond on startup then reboot. The one time I managed to get into XP (without my account profile, display settings, etc. enabled?), I copied over all the semi-important files to my good drive. I then restarted hoping to get my profile back but again I was getting the reboots. So I ran chkdsk and now I’m trying to repair the XP partition and try to run it temporary off my wonky disk until I have enough money to buy a new damn computer. >:|
It looks like the hard drive containing the XP partition on this computer is about to die due to a wonky IDE controller on the mobo, so I’m going to list the applications I have installed for future reinstallation reference and a sanity check.
7-Zip, Adobe Acrobat, Adobe Photoshop, Apache HTTP Server, CDisplay, Citrus Alarm Clock, DivX, Doom Builder, DU Meter, eMule, Exact Audio Copy, FileZilla, FireBurner, InterVideo WinDVD, IrfanView, IsoBuster, Java 2 SDK 1.4.2_04, Jaws PDF Creator, Lame 3.93.1, Media Player Classic, Microsoft Office, Mozilla Firefox, MP3-Tag Studio 3.05, NetLimiter, NTI CD-Maker 2000 Plus, O&O Defrag, MySQL, Peer Guardian 2, PHP 4.3.4, Quicktime, Real Alternative, RegClean, Soulseek, Spybot, TGTSoft StyleXP, TorrenTopia, Trillian, UltraEdit, Unlocker, USUSoft Subtitle Workshop, VirtualDub 1.6.4, VobSub, WhoLockMe, Winamp 5.08d, SSHeed
Winamp Plugins: Album List, Enhancer, CD Reader
Quoting Timothy Leary:
Throughout human history, as our species has face the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities – the political, the religious, the educational – authorities who attempted to comfort us, by giving us order, rules, regulations; in forming, forming in our minds their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority, and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness â€“ chaotic, confused vulnerability â€“ to inform yourself. Think for yourself. Question authority…
A snippet from Henry Rollins’ Smile, You’re Traveling:
I have been thinking about that woman and what she means or could mean in my life. I think it’s great for two people to be together. That is a good number. I think, that to keep it alive though, you can’t spend every day together. It wears out the magic, Love means nothing to me if it’s not fortified with fierce, painful longing, brief explosive instances of furious passion and intimacy and then a sad parting for a time. In that way, you can give your life to it and still have a life of your own. I think some couples spend too much time together. They flatten out the potential for experience by constant closeness. Passion builds over time like steam. Let it rage until it’s exhausted and then leave it alone to let it build up again. Why can’t love be insane and distorted? How can it be vital if it has the same threshold as normal day-to-day experience?
Why can’t you write burning letters and let your nocturnal self smolder with desire for one who is not there? Why not let the days before you see her be excruciating and ferment in your mind so on the day you go to the airport to pick her up, you’re nearly sick with anticipation? And then when desire shows the first sign of contentment, throw it back it its cage and let it slowly build itself back into a state of starved fury. Then when you are together, it all matters. So that when you look into her eyes, you lose your balance, so that when she touches you, it feels like you have never been touched before. When she says your name, you think it was she who named you. When she has gone, you bury your face in the pillow to smell her hair and you lie awake at night remembering your face in her neck, her breathing and the amazing smell of her skin. Your eyes go wet because you want her so bad and miss her so much. Now that is worth the miles and the time. That matches the inferno of life. Otherwise you poison each other with your presence day after day as you drag each other through the inevitable mundane aspects of your lives. That is the slow death that I see slapped on faces everywhere I go. It’s part of the world’s sadness that’s more empty than cold, poorly lit rooms in cities of the American night.
A month late, I’ve finally released Jägermörder 02: Terra Nova for Doom II. It’s BOOM-compatible but the SIDEDEF and SEGS lumps go over the engine’s limit of 215 so the only port that will run the map at the moment is ZDOOM.
I’m developing a theory that the only female partners I’ll ever find companionship with will have to be bi-sexual. Why? Because I have a chick’s body (minus boobs). I’m 5’7″, ~130lbs (although I saw I was up to 140lbs today; maybe running daily is finally paying off with a gain in muscle mass… or it’s the chocolate my parents sent me in the mail earlier this week). I will likely never be hug, so I may have to play off an androgynous look and hope I can find the most dysfunction women around to allow me to service their bodily needs. That’s the ticket.
I haven’t applied to a job in weeks. I think that’s a hint that I’ve pretty much resolved to move back in with my parents once the start of July rolls around. I’m alright with mooching off them for a bit since I’ve lived in this city for five straight bloodying years. It’s time for a change – moving back to something else familiar! But I’ll continue searching for jobs in Halifax. I’d have to deal with not being on broadband anymore. It’s pretty sad that there’s areas in the western world where a 28.8 modem connection is the fastest possible landline. But that’s for the best since I have habits I need to kick and I think I’ve reached my saturation point right now. Oh Marshall, you’re a motherfucker!
I’ve been listening to Wilco’s Being There on repeat for the past three days.
No Crucified Dreams yet which can be blamed on Jon Rimmer and Michal Mesko. Go harass them and don’t forget to insult their mother.
Jägermörder 02: Terra Nova is well underway, with the layout about 90% complete. I was aiming to make it Boom-compatible, just as the first in the series, but currently the sidedef count is 30,282, rapidly approaching the Doom engine’s limit of 32,768. Even with SEGS, I doubt it will even run with Boom after I add the final area. I only have 384MB of RAM on the machine I’m working with causing Doom Builder to swap like madness, especially when I’m in 3D mode. It isn’t too fun to wait 10 seconds for a texture change to complete.
The style of the level is the same as Jägermörder 01: Chemical Lab, except I will fix a couple complaints about that map in its sequel. First off, the map isn’t short, it’s huge. Almost Xbox, even. Secondly, the map won’t be easy but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go all Hell Revealed on you. I know some players will be turned off by the two introductory fights that force you into a small area with plenty of crossfire. Lastly, the linear aspect of the layout’s design isn’t as much of a problem. The first 33% of the layout is linear but after that there are multiple paths to accomplish goals and multiple steps to reach goals.
As is the theme in my Doom career, this level was started long ago; the summer of 1999, I believe. It has ended up being a combination of a bunch of different maps I started but never completed, including: Mordeth: Episode 2, Jägermörder 05, a Quake-style wind pipe effects demo (you get vertically sucked up, then spit out the other end), SMMU/Eternity start map, an E1-style DM map for Crucified Dreams, an Ultimate Doom map I started in 1998 and areas from my remix of Lee Szymanski’s Crucified Dreams contribution. Oddly, the theme and architecture are still consistent. Sprinkled throughout are subtle homages to some of my favourite mappers which you historians should be able to easily spot.
I’m not going to claim it’s my best work yet since there are a few too many tight corridors and I didn’t experiment with tenebrism enough as the whole layout is rather well-lit. I guess I’ll delay that type of work to Jägermörder 03, which has a huge layout that’s 66% complete. 04 has also been started.
Crucified Dreams will also have a deathmatch version of Jägermörder 01 with a modified layout more conducive to multiplayer. They’re all just words, aren’t they?
Time for some random links since I have no other content.
Hello folks. I guess I can make an update despite not releasing anything Doom-related in months. While you look at my wadography (I’m coining this term to refer to an author’s list of Doom works), you’ll notice I have very little work in the public’s hands. This is tiresome since I’ve been working for years on levels which for one reason or another I haven’t released. I have seven unfinished single player levels, each in the range of 10,000 to 25,000 sidedefs. These maps include two sequels to the Jägermörder series (Boom) and two ZDoom maps that I think will be one of the first serious explorations into the capabilities of slopes within the Doom engine. One annoyance pertaining to these matters is the stretched look of steep slopes, but I’ll make due.
I suppose to next topic of discussion is the much maligned (wait, I mean forgotten) Crucified Dreams. Yes, it is still being worked on. It was started in 1998 but think of it this way: when I picked up the project from Covaro in March 2000, most of the maps in the project either sucked (Hi Pixel!) or were Gothic Deathmatches 2 rejects. I’ve cut out a fair amount of material and the rest has been heavily reworked. From there I also finished a bunch of levels from scratch. Along with this, I took the texture resources which were mostly gothictx.wad, added SlaughterDM resources and some textures of my own. This led to me retexturing many levels and reworking layouts and redetailing… I’ve pretty much gone through each level four times detailing. Some of the geometric detail is approaching being obscene but I think it’s was all worth it. While Gothic DM2 pushed the limits of doom2.exe, I’m trying to push the visual limits of Doom2 within a 2.5D space without slopes… although I’ve also added some slopes composed fully of 1 pixel wide sectors, but it looks aesthetically pleasing since I made sure to align textures and flats to avoid repeating pixels. You read all this thinking it’s Gothic99 MAP01 all over again, but it’s far from that. Many of the areas are modest, kept clean and simple… for the most part. In fact, only one level is above 1MB… actually it’s above 2MB and will reach Doom II’s limit of 32,768 sidedefs. I think it will be the largest deathmatch-only Doom level ever made so I can add myself to the annals of the Doom community as the fool that put the stupidest amount of hours into editing a twelve year old game. What is the largest Doom deathmatch level anyway?
Other distractions taking up my time include writing and editing Doom Wiki articles, mostly in the realm of authors and wads. I want to fill in the info on pieces relating to the GothicDM team since they were so influential on myself and the Doom community in general. Yeah, go ahead, start whining about gameplay now. Forget the fact that nothing of worth ever has shown up in Doomworld’s /newstuff reviews in months.
Great, I just remembered that the townhouse complex I live in has a crew that cuts the grass as 8AM IN THE MORNING. Combined with the occurrence of going to bed at 5:30AM with the window open, this does not making me a happy camper. HULK SMASH !!
Since I moved a little over a week ago, my nasal passages have been a nuisance to everyday living. Moving boxes of junk and cleaning out the basement at my old place has displaced enough dust into my lungs that I will be sneezing for years to come. Yum, dead human skin. Did I mention that in that basement we found a shoebox of cat litter with a lone poop in it? In the past four years of friends living there, nobody ever had a cat. I don’t know if the excrement was human-made or not. 🙁 Oh and I blow out a couple litres of mucus every morning. Although when it dries, I get to pick & fling huge-ass boogers! This is my life. Ending one minute at a time.
I need to put something positive in this site for once. DOOM!. Yeah, that’s about all I have…
As a follow-up to the legendary post, there has been a spotting!
Session Start : Tue May 03 12:22:18 2005
[12:22]Adam: saw andy yesterday
[12:22]Afterglow: for serious?
[12:23]Afterglow: where!? WHERE!?
[12:23]Adam: was picketing… he was going to this church up the road from my place where they have AA and drug counseling
[12:23]Adam: it was so weird, because he was sober, drinking a coffee
[12:23]Adam: then he talked to a group of people in what appeared to be a normal fashion
[12:24]Afterglow: wow, you didn’t have a camera, did you?
[12:24]Adam: i could have got mine, but i didn’t know how he’d take to me taking his picture
[12:24]Adam: plus he was with a group of AAers
[12:24]Adam: wanted to
[12:25]Adam: i think i was too starstruck
[12:25]Afterglow: if i saw him i would probably start crying and piss myself
[12:25]Adam: if the meetings he’s going to are regular, he’ll be back next Monday
[12:26]Adam: it looked exactly like him.. what clinched it was that he was wearing the black skater bubble shoes
[12:27]Afterglow: the man. the legend.
Session Close: Tue May 03 12:27:54 2005
The next day during another spotting, a camera was to be had! Stay tuned for further developments.
Yesterday, I found a link to Overheard in New York, an absolutely hilarious random site of quips people overhear in the city of scum and villainy. For example: Guy: I’m crazy about her! Every time I go down on her, her pussy tastes like hummus!
Conversational terrorism. Loller.
My lease runs out on Saturday but I still don’t have a place to move to. Shit? In related news, I’m a useless cunter!
Sunday, February 13th, 2005. A date marking the rite of passage of a man who may some day soon reach his last wits. A day that on the surface seemed as normal as ever, but unforeseen factors interrupted, making the day sicked and twisted – forcing a man question his very being. He was reminded he was not alone… and this humanity was inescapable.
After a Saturday night of light drinking, I woke up the following morning absent a hangover. I followed the shower and breakfast routine and then returned to the most immediate comfort – the Internet! I gave Frances the Mute another thorough listen and then watched an ancient At the Drive-In bootleg. Perhaps I even Shacked a little. My memory is quite foggy after a week, however this loss really isn’t due to temporal limits of the mind. Those memories were simply eclipsed by objectional happenings of another degree.
At approximately 2PM, while I sat in my basement bedroom, two of my housemates and two other friends were sitting upstairs in the living room, a process locally known as burning out. My house is part of a townhouse complex of 72 units (we live in an end-unit), with most of its population being students aged 19 to 22. While my four friends in their early 20s lounged upstairs, a figure came to the foreground of their peripheral vision. Outside the living room window could be seen a human moving towards our home – through our backyard. Without knocking, grunting, or yelping, this figure opened our back door, walked in, looked at my friends, and made a sound similar to “nyuh”. Without skipping a beat one of my housemates asks, “What’s up, man!?”. Now my other three friends think my housemate knows this person. Maybe he’s an uncle? Another actually asks, “Do you know this guy?”, to which my housemate replied, “Yeah, yeah…” The one who walked in was an older man, perhaps in his 50s or 60s with a flush red face and clearly smelling of alcohol. He took off his jacket and helped himself to a seat. The friend asks my housemate again if he knows the man and this time he tells the truth, “no”. Luckily one of the guys had his digital camera handy, with the resulting conversation now appearing in DivX form:
At the end of the video there’s a mention of someone upstairs… this is another housemate not yet aware of imminent zaniness. Unfortunately the digital camera’s memory ran out, so we were unable to capture his greeting with the drunken man affectionately now known as Andy (or so he said his name was…). He requested some water which he guzzled down at a rate similar to Filthysock’s toyfriend, additionally spilling some on his shirt. Now is the point where the insanity begins. I had finished breakfast in my room and decided to ascend from my den of iniquity to place my dirty dishes in the kitchen. Before I give a URL to this shocking and amazing video, I want you to pay special attention to a couple features involving our dear friend Andy.
1) He has likely been drinking alcohol often over the past 24 hours.
2) He just drank two glasses of water.
3) My apprehension walking upstairs to see him sitting in my living room. I give a timid, “Hi…”, hammering away a thought process to derive why this man was within 10 feet of me. My friends were obviously getting a kick out of this. I may have attained a certain level of paralysis as the decreasing distance between our two masses increased the gravity of the situation. A simple handshake turned into something else. Something… something that plays back in my mind over and over.
4) Look at the dampness of his pants.
We took pictures:
What makes this even more horrible is that nobody realized the truth at the time! After the incident, we carefully analyzed the digital footage, mostly for a laugh, but what we uncovered was a wicked ordeal no man should ever encounter. Like unpeeling a banana, the indisputable truth underneath the surface was uncovered – that’s right ladies and gentlemen, A GROWN MAN FUCKING PISSED ON ME. He pissed his fucking pants!
We realized now was the time to rid our dear safe haven of this menace. How do you remove a drunk from your presence? That much is obvious:
I just love how my housemate said, “If you’re ever in the area…”. Yeah, we lock our doors now. So yes, he left, we watched the video, I realized he pissed himself hugging me. I guess I have that certain je ne sais pas. Ugh. Now can you imagine if this guy walked into another unit in our complex? Maybe one housed by all girls? I guess being Canadian boys, we just played along to the whole ridiculous situation, but if he approached other people, the conclusion would have likely been vastly different.
Oh dear god.
While I was stuck at my parents’ during uni’s Christmas break, I really had nothing to do except watch poor movies on satellite TV. Among the trash was Dumb and Dumberer. Sweet Jesus, my distaste for Hollywood’s increased ten-fold. While the two main actors mimicked youthful Lloyd and Harry characters well, the writing was abysmal. Most jokes were stolen directly from the original with a very small fraction of the funny included. These moments I’ll spoil below.
Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that’s an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?
It’s only funny because the quote is coming out of Danny Tanner’s mouth!
The list of “more than just similarities” continues. Avoid at all costs.
My intramural hockey team’s record is now 0-4. In chronological order, we’ve lost 3-2, 5-3, 8-1, and 6-0. It didn’t help that we’d been rolling three lines for the first three games and then for the fourth there was only eight of us. We held our own for the first period but by the end of the game our legs fell out and the opposing team pulled away. I’m also still not fully comfortable on the ice. i.e., seeing possible plays and being able to stick handle around guys. I used to be a hot dog back in pee-wee so I thought playing in a non-contact league now would be no problem. I guess I’ll just have to practice a bit more, maybe play some rec hockey on Tues/Thurs afternoon.
But wait! I’m behind in two out of my five classes, chemistry and calculus. I know my GPA this semester will be a disaster (distributed systems and symbolic logic should somewhat even it out), but my overall GPA won’t be affected much at all since I’ve already taken so many classes. Score!
I’m enjoying how most of the hits I get to this site are people searching Google for “cunt” or “hymen”. But no, they just get the journal of a plain white boy. Maybe you people should buy some British medical texts.
New Juno Reactor is very good. Download it! Buy it!