Have been in Melbourne for almost three months now and still not dead.

  • The weather here goes up and down more than a pole dancer.
  • St. Kilda is Little Ireland.
  • The sole purpose of French travellers is to speak loudly outside hostel rooms late at night with no consideration for other people.
  • Flashing crosswalk sign: “GIVE WAY TO PEDS”. Too easy.
  • No refrigerating eggs. They’re found in the supermarket baking aisle.
  • It wasn’t until late Christmas Eve that I made my first legit grocery shopping excursion. Takeout is comparable in price to cooking for yourself.
  • I watch more hockey overseas than in Canada, but that had more to do with the World Junior’s and HBO’s 24/7 Rangers/Flyers: Road to the NHL Winter Classic.
  • Moved to Brunswick East in late October and the first morning it sounded like a zoo out my window – the house borders a park. Birds are loud.
  • Demolition five lots down of old retail space for new condos that has been ongoing since I moved in? Louder.
  • Brunswick East is a black hole for Optus coverage even if I’m a 15 minute tram ride to the CBD.
  • I am still confused as to whether it’s Brunswick East or East Brunswick.
  • It doesn’t matter because most people, even from Melbs, assume I’m talking about Brunswick St. in Fitzroy.
  • Quarry Hotel chicken parma and pint of Carlton, sing it.
  • The East Brunswick Club is my new Sneaky Dee’s. It’s no King’s Crown, but they have a chicken parma served on nachos.
  • Milk bar staples: milk, bread, Tim Tams.
  • Discovered my new favourite past-time is telling Pommies there is no purpose of the monarchy and then watching their head explode.
  • Brunswick Town Hall Kebab have begun upgrading me from small to large at no cost. Yes, I am already a regular at a food truck in a carwash parking lot.
  • Footy pre-seasons exist to see if your exhausted legs will secrete tears.
  • I don’t think anyone at the cricket is actually spectating a match played out in front of them. So like most people in the 500 level at a Jays game, the sole goal is getting tanked.
  • So far this conversation has played out three times:
    “What part of Canada are you from?”
    “The east coast.”
    “Oh, British Columbia is nice.”
    “The other east.”