Have been in Melbourne for almost three months now and still not dead.
- The weather here goes up and down more than a pole dancer.
- St. Kilda is Little Ireland.
- The sole purpose of French travellers is to speak loudly outside hostel rooms late at night with no consideration for other people.
- Flashing crosswalk sign: “GIVE WAY TO PEDS”. Too easy.
- No refrigerating eggs. They’re found in the supermarket baking aisle.
- It wasn’t until late Christmas Eve that I made my first legit grocery shopping excursion. Takeout is comparable in price to cooking for yourself.
- I watch more hockey overseas than in Canada, but that had more to do with the World Junior’s and HBO’s 24/7 Rangers/Flyers: Road to the NHL Winter Classic.
- Moved to Brunswick East in late October and the first morning it sounded like a zoo out my window – the house borders a park. Birds are loud.
- Demolition five lots down of old retail space for new condos that has been ongoing since I moved in? Louder.
- Brunswick East is a black hole for Optus coverage even if I’m a 15 minute tram ride to the CBD.
- I am still confused as to whether it’s Brunswick East or East Brunswick.
- It doesn’t matter because most people, even from Melbs, assume I’m talking about Brunswick St. in Fitzroy.
- Quarry Hotel chicken parma and pint of Carlton, sing it.
- The East Brunswick Club is my new Sneaky Dee’s. It’s no King’s Crown, but they have a chicken parma served on nachos.
- Milk bar staples: milk, bread, Tim Tams.
- Discovered my new favourite past-time is telling Pommies there is no purpose of the monarchy and then watching their head explode.
- Brunswick Town Hall Kebab have begun upgrading me from small to large at no cost. Yes, I am already a regular at a food truck in a carwash parking lot.
- Footy pre-seasons exist to see if your exhausted legs will secrete tears.
- I don’t think anyone at the cricket is actually spectating a match played out in front of them. So like most people in the 500 level at a Jays game, the sole goal is getting tanked.
- So far this conversation has played out three times:
“What part of Canada are you from?”
“The east coast.”
“Oh, British Columbia is nice.”
“The other east.”