I’m going to get all Canadian here, but what’s the deal with Roger’s Sportsnet new marketing strategy? Surely this is a pisstake? Their faceless female voice personality has a raspy wisp that sounds like she just came straight from a take of recording a midnight sex chat infomercial. They also got rid of their sports news show, instead switching to “Connected” which is just a condensed version of irrelevance. They bring in three early 20s broads coming straight off the Humber College assembly line that have nothing to do with sports. The morning sportscaster is a complete wreck with two-plus second pauses between sports highlights commentary. Keep the flow going, idiot! The whole thing feels like a high school production. Add onto that 10 minutes of middle-aged men giving hard-hitting analysis (!!) on hockey, when the show itself is less than 30 minutes, and you’re left with nothing. They’ll show only those fucking hockey highlights; but for basketball, baseball, or any other sports people with a semblance of intelligence enjoy, they only get shots from 2 or 3 games, having to catch up with everything else on the ticker, which advertises the Toronto Blue Jays every 3 minutes thanks to ol’ Ted’s corporate machine.

Their slogan: HOCKEY THAT MATTERS. Sports don’t matter. Neither do bimbos that fill the screen with generic porcelain rather than knowledge or wit. I only speak of all this because we have Roger’s basic cable at my home, so there’s no TSN (see: ESPN Jr.) and Jay Onrait to cleanse my palette. It’s obvious that they’re desperate due to a large loss of market-share where the audience they have is due to no other choice. Personally, I’m just choosing to keep the television turned off.